Disclaimer

Many people like to argue with me about The Church of Conan being sacriligious. Well. Good for you. If you have any sort of a brain in your head then you will know that this is a joke. Satire. This is NOT a cult. I am too damn busy to start up a cult, as much as I'd like to. *sarcasm!* If you are going to email me, swear, and cuss, then you are just rotten. NBC approves of this page, because NBC even knows that this is simply a joke. And we all know that NBC would not approve of any sort of a cult.

And now, a rant. I live in the New Lenox, IL bible belt. There are silly Fundemental Christians and Born-Agains surrounding me everywhere. Sometimes they question me about my religion, and I tell them that it's none of their damn business. But other times, if I am in the right mood, I tell them that I am an atheist! Of course I was baptized some sort of Unitarianism, but I don't care, because that's just some sort of a bizarre hippie-religion anyway, I think. I really don't have a problem with religious people at all. As a matter of fact, I would be happy to go to a Catholic school instead of the silly Fundy-mental school I'm at now. Anyhow. These silly fundy-mentals tell me each and every day that I am going to hell. Isn't that nice? So I asked them, "Don't you have to be nice if you're going to go to that heaven of yours?" and they said, "No, duh, actions do not determine that, only accepting Jesus as our savior does!" Well. In THAT case. These are the creepiest people I have ever encountered in my entire life. I was once in a car with some of my friends, and the guy driving us started ripping on gays and lesbians. "God did not make them that way! They will die! I will kill them! I hate them!" Isn't that nice? And they're pretty much all like that. You know, those silly www.godhatesfags.com places just shows that. There are too many of them. I recently heard on the news that 48% of the teenagers in the USA are Extremely Religious. Well, if you're nice, and you keep to yourselves, FINE. Stay that way. I just can't stand the ones that MUST pray at a public school, wear Jesus t-shirts, bring bibles to class, hand out religious tracts, and loudly scream and yell at non-christians. I have NEVER done that in my entire life. I have never critisized anyone for their religion. There are plenty of Mormons at my school (they're all coming back to Illinois or something now because this is where they were founded) and THEY never say anything to anyone about their religion. They are nice. They don't scream and yell at the people who are consuming caffine or anything like that. So everyone should just lighten up, okay? Leave everyone alone. Do what you want. But stop picketing in front of abortion clinics and such with your "GOD HATES YOU!" signs. You aren't any better than anyone else.


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This page was created by Hilary Branske. Any copying of the concept of the Church of Conan will result in a severe whipping and removal of your sparkle dot.

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